Trust? What Is That?


Audrey Mihalik

A Christian reflection written by Audrey Mihalik

Audrey Mihalik is a writer and martial artist who loves Jesus and people and who believes that art changes lives.

Find her via Facebook or Twitter.


 

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Isaiah 26:3-4 “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is staid on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.”

Do you trust God? This is a question I have been asking myself a lot lately. Every day I wake up in a place where I can choose to trust God and his plan, or I can choose to let myself worry, become anxious, and become consumed with all of the problems of day to day life.

I used to say, “Yes! I trust God!” But, over the past three and a half years, I have slowly become an anxious person. I worry about whether I’m really doing what God wants me to do, how will I provide for myself, how will I do this, and that, and everything else? It’s always been about me. How will I make something happen? How can I fix this situation that is completely out of my control without admitting that it is completely out of my control?

Well, the answer is pretty simple. God brought me to a breaking point where I simply couldn’t—didn’t have the strength to try—to lie to myself anymore. I admitted that this life is more than I can handle on my own. I was running here, there and everywhere, yet getting nowhere. What I did get was stress, worry, anger, frustration, fear upon fear upon fear, sleepless nights, several burn-outs, avoided the people God put in my life because I was too worried about what to do next. What was I missing, what drastic change did I need to make, how was I going to fix this and do that? I did everything but live in the moment.

Is that trusting God? Is saying that I trust him enough? I’m convinced I lived a lie. I gave lip service, but my actions and thoughts didn’t correlate. Was the panic, the tears, the fear worth it? …I should think not.

What I have found, and am still learning, trusting God, the invisible being who we must in faith believe, is something that must take root deep inside my heart. Meaning, the very core of my heart rather than the shallow words I spoke so confidently.

Trusting God hasn’t changed my situation. Trusting God has allowed me to see the world around me for what it is. God has allowed us to be born in this world for a reason. We are here for him, and he is more than capable of taking care of us, taking care of me. I have begun to see opportunities that I was too blind to see before.

Trusting God means letting go of the unknown, and letting the one who knows take care of that and simply doing what I can now. I had become so self-focused, worshipping my “problems” rather than worshipping the overcomer of them.

What does it look like to trust God every day?

I can go to bed in tremendous peace knowing that God is in control and is doing great things that I cannot see yet. I’m completely content and confident in Christ. I know he holds my future and everything is going to be okay.

The next morning I wake up with fear of the future knocking at my door, waiting with panic, control and worry to overtake my mind and actions with the horribly familiar pain in my chest that has nothing to do with medical problems.

My first reaction is to cry, “God, where did you go?”

When in reality, He’s still with me. Never left. He’s still right there—it is I who must trust him. A still quiet voice reminds me, in the way of a thought, that God is still God, and though I can’t see him, He is there and he is faithful and true. He always fulfills his promises.

I trust in the God, the only God, who does miracles. Faith, as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. Rather than believing God simply doesn’t want to do what we pray, perhaps we should believe that he does say yes sometimes. That faith could move mountains.